Mission accomplished for old ANC as SA ungovernable, new ANC helpless

As mine strikes spread, Durban Metro police go on the rampage, and service delivery protests disrupt Cape Town, the ANC has admitted that it is helpless as it is caught in a trap of its own making. “When Comrade Oliver Tambo told us to make the country ungovernable in 1984, he didn’t really tell us when to stop,” said a spokesman. “So I suppose it’s mission accomplished. Shit.”
According to spokesman, Helpless Nkandla, the original order to make South Africa ungovernable could not be rescinded as the Comrades who issues it were now either dead or senile.
“We’ve asked some veterans in their nineties if they can remember the code word for stopping all the shenanigans.” said Nkandla, “but their main strategic objective right now is to redeploy the canned peaches from their plate into their mouths without have any cadres defect onto their plastic bibs or the floor.”
He revealed that the ANC had unwittingly been following Tambo’s original plan, right up until this week.
“We found a dossier called ‘Let’s Stay A Liberation Movement Forever So We Don’t Ever Have To Do The Shitty Boring Stuff Like Leading And Investing In The Future’, and in there it’s all spelled out in detail,” he said.
According to Nkandla, the plan was to see Nelson Mandela half-govern the country with FW de Klerk, before handing over to Thabo Mbeki who not govern at all but would appease investors by wearing great suits.
“The final coup de grâce would be administered by Jacob Zuma, who would sing and dance while everything burns, and then ungovernability would be achieved,” said Nkandla.
“The problem is, we don’t know what was supposed to happen next. When we ask the veterans, ‘What happens now?’ they say, ‘At 4pm they turn on the TV in the recreation room and then we watch The Young And The Restless, and then it’s bed time’.”
Meanwhile, the ANC Youth League has defended the concept of ungovernability.
“It is very logical,” said spokesman, Thuglife Mamela. “Basically, our plan is to break South Africa until it is fixed.”
He said it was an approach that had been proven to work when dealing with education, healthcare, women’s rights and job creation.

“For example, when trains are late, we burn them, which make us even later, which proves how justifiable our original grievance was,” said Mamela. “It all makes perfect sense, if you remove counterrevolutionary enemies like logic and critical insight.”

http://www.hayibo.com/mission-accomplished-for-old-anc-as-sa-ungovernable-new-anc-helpless/